Proclamation

I have thought of myself as a good Christian Catholic. I believe I am better cathechized than most. I know the teachings of the Church, for the most part. I prayed and went to Church. I teach high school kids about the faith. I go quite regularly to Catholic Cathechism studies and have gone to Bible studies. I have convinced myself that I know alot of things about God. But I read somewhere before that knowing thing about God is NOTHING compared to knowing God.


In my life, I seem to have serial, even daily, conversions. Since I'ved moved to Washington, there seems to be an invigoration and re-invigoration of my faith within me. I have not always been willing to acquiesce (and in fact, I have been battling against it quite a bit) but the battle just reveals something else.

I have a deep darkness in my soul. To fill it, I have been feeding it with lies, deception and rationalization. Even though I have been accepting a certain state of morality, it has kept me wanting. I was not truly free. All the untruths I have been filling the deep chasm are not of the God of joy, sweetness, faith, hope and love. So I have kept empty a wide God-sized abyss but fought against letting the only thing, the only One, that can fill it.

I deserve nothing. My life deserve no honor or grace. I'm filled with hypocrisy and my life is of continual sinfulness. My witness is a long lamentation not only to those I love but also those I touch. My actions hurt my loved ones and scandalize my neighbors. I kept my worldly desires in front of me. But yet, God redeemed me.

For God so loved the world, He gave His only-begotten Son.

For God so loved me, He gave me His only-begotten Son.

I kept with the company of His Son but I am a Judas plotting and rationalizing away. In private, I spat at him. All I did was cause him pain and shame, yet he intercessed for me "forgive them for they not know what they do." The Son so loved me that he died for me. This Son, Jesus Christ, fully God and fully man, shed water and blood that redeemed me.

Through baptism, The Father invited me into the fold of His children. Through Confirmation, He anointed me and filled me with God Himself, the Holy Spirit. With the Eucharist, he fed me the saving blood and body of His Son. And with Reconciliation, he cleanses me whenever I fall.

Yes, I am nothing, but I have all the reason to rejoice. My lips shall proclaim Glory to the Highest, the Lord of Hosts.

Good and Gracious Father, I thank You for everything. You are tuly great indeed in Your magesty. You created everything for Your joy. Please forgive all the times that I did not serve that purpose. Please guide me on my journey in recognition of Your saving grace through Your Holy Son. Please, teach me, in your loving grace, to know you and your divine heart. I ask this in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ, and the advocacy of your Holy Spirit.

Amen.