She said

she will love me forever. She said we will be friends forever. Why can't things be as they were once said?

I am trying

I am trying to talk reason to her. she is being unfair. She wants to sever our friendship. What have I done!?!? I have a feeling she wants me to hate her. to despise her as much... she wont let me call.... ugh.

She doesn't care

She hates me. she is enjoying the fact that I am suffering while she is gone. How can anyone be like this? FUCK! ... gaaaaahhh..

It's official

Everyone will be happier if I die.

Why?

The people you love are those that hurts u most. So unforgiving and unfair. Painful but life goes on but without forgetting that you have to pay for what you did.

The World of Tra la la

The semster's almost over and things are not lookin so good. For the first time, I am worried I might have to retake a class. That class is incompressible flows. the tests were crazy and Dr Anderson even called the 46/100 2nd test average "quite good, I am used to tests with 20-25 average."

I got a measly 35. and that is the curved score.

Baka, baka mark.

No tests today but I had the test for Engineering Analysis and Incompressibles yesterday. I studied alot for the latter. I started re-deciphering the book last thurdsday. Then I spend the weeked at Jade's apartment to study for that class some more. the test have two parts: open and closed book. The closed book was pretty rife with definitions, explanations and such. and maybe, some simple calculations (that are still easy to forget) like the use of the momentum equation on a holed plate. I think I did ok. I hope I really did ok. We will see.

I just started studying for the Engineering analysis the morning of the test. It wasn't hard. I practically knew the material already. It just sucks cuz I missed some of the questions. Again, it's not hard, I am just stupid.

I have two more tests. one for Aircraft structures tomorrow and history and Heat transfer on Thursday. I am lucky my classes were relatively evenly spaced out.

Last Sunday, I went to this Salon to get my hair cut. It was the only salon open in the whole of Arlington. To those who don't know, I experimented with the highschool-mark hair. I got tired of it mainly because of its high maintenance so I decided to go back to the "college mark scissor-cut" do. The lady in the salon have other plans. I think she liked my hair too much the way it is so she won't destroy the do until i (politely) told her that I want that hair better. Then she did but not quite like how I wanted it. I said I want it closer on the sides but she started getting irate. She said she likes my hair the way it is already so I should try wearing it for a day and come back the next day if I don't like it (at least that's how I understand it. Her words are pretty difficult to comprehend because of the thick Vietnamese accent). Why would I waste my gasoline driving back there? I knew my hair for 19 years and she only got to see them for 15 minutes, how dare she act like my mother with MY hair? So I just left her a 50-cent tip.

I went to hear mass at St. Maria Goretti's with Jannielu at Arlington. It was quite nice. the place is so ornate. Very churchlikebut but with the added comfort like padded seats. The service is traditional but the presider is pretty cool. Yes Fr. Jim is a bit iffeminate but he has a very entertaining homily. and you can actually understand it. I would want to go to church there regularly...... If I live on campus, that is.

Oh, and I am also having this girl problems. I am quite infatuated with this friend of mine at the UTA Volunteers. She's with me in the exec board. I told her I like her but the response wasn't very as pleasant as I preferred it. "I am having some guy problems that I am dealing with so this is not a good time. Thanks for saying somethin, though." I should say that that sorta gave me a bit hope but my friends says it's a classic rejection line. One that soften's the blow ( and prolly, give false-hopes). I was devastated...well not really... just really pulled down when I heard this from my friend, Vincent. Like he said "truth hurts" and as I said "sucks to be me."

Last nightI had a late breakfast with Maggie, her roommate Pamela and my friend, Vincent. It was nice. Pamela is a pretty CSE (computer science engineering) senior from Munster, or something like that. And Maggie... well, Maggie is my crush. Now that I told her I like her, I feel awkward with her. What if she's thinkin I am just trying to score "pogi points?" I had serious beliefs she is avoiding me, or at least, thinking that she thinks im stalking her. owell. im getting a bit too self-conscious. I guess I will just go back to my lovelife strategy: wait because it will come when you least expect it.